“Don’t Touch Me Like That”: Confronting Unwanted Touch In Your Relationship

September 21, 2023


Does your partner ever touch you in ways, times, or places that you don’t feel comfortable with? A staggering 78% of people have experienced unwanted touch in their relationships. We’re talking things like boob honks, humping from behind, and ass smacks.

So what are you supposed to do when the person you love and trust is touching your body in ways that you don’t like? There’s one thing we’re clear on: it’s your body, and you get to decide how it gets touched. That being said, there can be nuances in these kinds of situations. What if you’ve never told your partner you don’t like that kind of touch? What if you know your partner has good intentions, but just isn’t understanding your boundaries?

In this episode, we’re not just highlighting the problem; we’re providing solutions. We’ll walk you through the three most common scenarios when it comes to unwanted touch in relationships, and provide practical guidance on how to tackle them. Whether you’re seeking advice on communication, setting boundaries, or understanding consent, we’ve got you covered.

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[1:34] Uncomfortably excited to address this topic

[3:26] You are entitled to your own body’s boundaries

[7:31] No gender is exempt from this

[8:48] The most common examples of unwanted touch

[12:37] “Aren’t I supposed to like this?”

[14:43] Scenario #1: “I don’t like it but I haven’t told them”

[16:56] Giving the benefit of the doubt

[18:11] The power in being specific

[21:17] Options and scripts

[22:21] It’s ok to feel bummed out that things need to change

[31:05] Scenario #2: “I’ve told them, but they don’t seem to understand”

[32:33] Reinforcing the boundary in a different context

[37:06] The game of redirection

[38:22] There is no ownership of another human’s body

[39:39] Scenario #3: “I’ve told them, but they refuse to stop”

[40:36] When and how to set a hard line

Links & resources

Guide: Art Of Initiation

Guide: Survivor’s Guide

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