How Do You Turn Your Partner On? (When You’ve Been Together For Years)

September 3, 2026

#276

At the start of a relationship, turning your partner on felt like it took basically no effort.

So what do you do a decade in, when you’ve watched each other fart and floss, and nothing seems to happen on its own anymore?

In this episode, you’ll hear:

  • Why nothing sexy happens spontaneously after about six months, and what has to replace it
  • The thing you have to clear out of the way before you can build desire at all
  • Which of the four desire types you and your partner each are, and why it changes how you initiate
  • How to flirt with someone you’ve been with for years without feeling ridiculous
  • The compliment swap that makes it actually land, and what to say instead of “you’re hot”
  • Why initiating in the moment is already too late, and when to start instead
  • What our community said gets them in the mood, from grey sweatpants to a longer than usual kiss in the kitchen

Mentioned in this episode:

Discover your initiation style here: https://vmtherapy.com/style

Listen to Episode 251: What’s Your Desire Type?: https://vmtherapy.com/episode251

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