I Don’t Know How To Say This, But…

May 05,2022

You know that thing you really want to tell your partner but you just… don’t know how?

Maybe you’re nervous, you really don’t want to hurt their feelings, or it feels like the time is never right.

Well, you’re not alone!

Our Instagram audience hit us with alllll the things they wish they could tell their partner, and we’re giving them our best advice for how to keep it real while avoiding the dreaded “we need to talk” opener.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[01:58] We need to talk, sexy mad libs, and the inspiration for this episode

[06:07] “How do I tell my partner I don’t want initiation that’s just them saying ‘Hey, wanna do it?’”

[06:39] An initiation tip you don’t want to miss

[08:22] We start our communication tips with a very simple mindset switch that you can make right now

[12:48] “I need alone time!”

[15:02] Our two pieces of advice to the partner that just wants to be alone (our answer might surprise you)

[17:26] “I want more foreplay.”

[19:17] How compliments and praise can lead to A LOT more pleasure

[23:04] “My partner needs to lose weight.”

[27:17] “I want to try using a toy but I’m too afraid to ask him.”

[27:46] What it really means when you use a vibrator with your partner

[31:56] “One date night doesn’t fix a lack of emotional intimacy in our relationship.”

[35:00] How to talk to your partner when you think they could benefit from going to therapy

[40:50] “I want an orgasm!”

Links & resources

Golden Rules of Communication

The Hygiene Episode — Episode 46

Our Recommended Products Page

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I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!