How To Spice It Up In the Bedroom: Exploring Kink For Beginners

May 26,2022

Have you ever read a romance novel or watched a sex scene and felt turned on by reading or seeing something kinda kinky that you’ve never even thought of doing in the bedroom before?

Maybe you like the sex you’re having now, but you’ve heard of some naughty things that make you a little…curious.

This episode is your introduction to kink: what it is, why you might want to experiment with it, and how to actually go about trying it in a safe, healthy way!

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[02:44] What is kink?

[09:01] We ask Instagram if they’re curious about kink

[10:57] What we really think of 50 Shades of Grey

[12:37] Why would you want to explore kink anyway? What’s so great about it?

[15:32] The truth about a lot of the people that are into kinky sex

[16:37] We get into some of the mistakes people make when they get into kink — and how almost all of them can be explained with a vacation analogy

[25:08] Why you need a safe word

[28:43] Some beginner ideas for you to bring a little kink into the bedroom. We’re giving some VERY specific and detailed examples!

[33:18] One of our favorite ways to experiment with kink for total beginners, and a great resource to learn how to do it!

[42:12] The reason why blindfolds and restraints can be SO sexy

[43:04] One of the most important parts of kinky sex (!!) and detailed ideas for how to do it

[47:26] Listener Question #1: What if my partner prefers kink, but I’m not always okay with it or don’t know if I’m okay with it?

[50:25] Listener Question #2: How do I not feel shame around my kink?

[51:52] Listener Question #3: Early in my relationship I suggested toys — it was a no! Seven years later and I’m too scared to ask again.

Links & resources

The review of the week emoji masterpiece:

Sex Position Playbook

Dirty Talk 101

Top 10 Ideas for Who To Roleplay

Also listen on


How Much Sex Should You Really Be Having?


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I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!