Things That Go Bump (Or Bang) In the Night

March 23, 2023


Do you and your partner go to bed at the same time? In the same bed? In the same ROOM?

It’s easy to get stuck in the stereotypes of what a couple “should” be doing, and what it means if you and your partner have unconventional sleep habits. After polling our Instagram audience, we found that many of you are worried that “different” is spelled t-r-o-u-b-l-e, so in this grab bag episode, we address a collection of sleep-related topics that we hope will put your minds at ease. We’ll tell you all about the choices we’ve made about bedtimes, bed arrangements, to cuddle or not to cuddle, and what to do with the dogs when it’s time for lights out.

Now, we couldn’t talk about sleep habits without talking about the ever-popular subject of sex dreams, so don’t miss out on the hilarious revelations of what really gets our subconscious motors running and how we feel about not always costarring each other’s fantasies.

(Heads up: At the very end of the episode, we define sexsomnia, how it can be a game-changer, and how it can bring up tricky issues around consent.)

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[2:03] Review of the week

[6:10] Scrutinizing separate vs shared sleep situations

[12:35] Do you have to sleep together to be together?

[16:57] Please heed the need for quality zzzzzz’s

[20:14] Talking turn in times

[26:26] Dissecting dirty dreams and discussing disclosure

[34:17] Woes of having O’s while you doze

[40:09] Consensual Sensational Sexsomnia

Links & resources

YouTube Video: What Does It Mean If I Have A Sex Dream?

Our Instagram: Vanessa + Xander

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