I was at an airport with NO idea where I was going

February 18,2020

I walked through the airport.

I had my passport in one hand, and my luggage handle in the other.

And I had NO idea where in the world I was going. 

Absolutely no clue.

Xander checked us in at the counter, quietly whispering to the attendant. She smiled and checked us in, simply saying, “Have a nice trip!”

Xander held onto our tickets as we walked through security, so I couldn’t see the arrival airport code.

He led me around the airport, teasingly walking up to different gates to keep me on my toes. 





New York? 


Finally, we walked up to a gate, and a huge smile broke out on his face.

I knew this was the one. 

“THAILAND???!!!” I screamed.

“Yep!” He replied, beaming.

Thailand! To celebrate our 5-year wedding anniversary. 

Xander planned the whole trip by himself, down to every last detail, and managed to pull it off so it was a complete and utter surprise to me until the minute we boarded the plane.

Now that, my friends, is romantic!

OK, so that was by far and away the most romantic thing that Xander has ever done for me, but for us, romance generally isn’t anywhere near that epic.

For us, romance is Xander stroking my cheek before he kisses me. 

It’s me letting him sleep in, and waking him up with a hot cup of tea. 

It’s us keeping a list of new restaurants to go to for date night.

Last week, I talked about trying to pursue your partner again, and I mentioned that some of the things you used to do at the beginning of your relationship might not be as meaningful to your partner now. 

So today, we’re going to talk about new ways to spark romance with your partner. 

My tip?

Go straight to the source!

Have a conversation with your partner about romance! 

Here are some amazing questions you could ask your partner:


How Much Sex Should You Really Be Having?


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I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!