3 of our best pieces of relationship advice

December 17,2019

12 lessons Xander and I have learned from 12 years together. (Our anniversary is this month!)

Every week this month, Xander and I are sharing of our favorite relationship wisdom, plus specific tips for incorporating each lesson into your own relationship! 

In this week’s video we’re covering three powerful lessons about communication.

Relationship Lesson #4 – Learn from your communication mistakes, and identify your patterns

You’ll learn how to feel like the two of you are solving your communication puzzle together, rather than battling it out against each other.

(You’ll also learn about “clam time”… one of my most embarrassing communication challenges!)

Relationship Lesson #5 – Check your stories – because they’re almost always wrong

This one lesson has saved Xander and I from a lot of heartache, and has stopped major fights in their tracks.

This one takes a bit of time to describe, so you definitely need to check out the video! You’ll learn how to put this lesson to use in your own relationship immediately!

Relationship Lesson #6 – We’re always on the same team

This one is all about working against our problems, not against each other.

It’s a monumental shift, and I know it can make a huge impact in your relationship.

Head on over here to watch this week’s video! 


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I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!