We’re trying something new – Reader Requests!

October 08,2019

We decided to do something new this month and let YOU pick the topic!

Have a burning sex or relationship question?

Need advice about your situation?

We’re here for you this month!

If we pick your question, we’ll keep it confidential. We won’t share your name, your partner’s name, or any identifying details.

You can also let us know if you’d like an answer from Vanessa, Xander, or both of us!

We’re also going to do something new with our responses, and film them as videos!

This week, we’re taking a question that was sent to me via Instagram DM:

“Can you please talk or touch on the topic of premature ejaculation in a marriage and how to talk about it? (I know it’s a sensitive topic) Since we’ve had a baby 2 years ago, sex has been bleghhh from the lack thereof. But when we do it, my husband orgasms so fast, and I’m left with ‘blue balls.’ It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even want to have sex because I’m left so unsatisfied and upset. We do foreplay and all that, but once we start actually having intercourse and it’s feeling good, he orgasms. And he’ll try to keep going but he’s soft and it doesn’t feel good. It makes me really upset. So I just avoid doing it lately.”

Xander and I decided to tackle this one together.

Head on over here to check out our response!


How Much Sex Should You Really Be Having?


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I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!