This month I’m sharing four surprising lessons I’ve learned about female orgasm from running my online courses Finishing School: Learn How To Orgasmand Finishing School: Orgasm With A Partner.

As I hinted at last week, I’m gearing up for something really exciting related to this popular topic (more on that NEXT WEEK!).

Surprising Orgasm Lesson #2 – Orgasm Myths Are Even More Common – And Harmful – Than I Thought

When I first created Finishing School, I spent a good deal of time talking about the truth about how female orgasm really works. I knew that there was a good amount of misinformation floating around.

But what I didn’t realize was that I’d quickly learn about even more orgasm myths from the women in Finishing School. There were a lot of myths that I didn’t even know existed!

And of course, the problem with myths is that most people don’t realize they’re myths. Myths often get misinterpreted as the truth.

If you fall for these orgasm myths, you sabotage your ability to actually learn how to have a real orgasm.

Here are some of the myths I’ve heard from the women in Finishing School, plus the truth behind each myth.

Orgasm Myth #1 – You’ll Know When You’ve Had An Orgasm

I learned that a lot of women think that their first orgasms will be these massive, explosive affairs.

The orgasmic truth: When you’re first learning how to orgasm, your orgasms are probably going to feel pretty small. They’re probably going to feel barely more pleasurable than what you feel when you masturbate.

Your first orgasms are probably not going to feel super satisfying either. A lot of women expect to feel this massive release or sense of completion after an orgasm. But that rarely happens when you’re first learning how to have them.

Orgasm Myth #2 – There Should Be A Straight Path To Orgasm

The women in Finishing School told me that they thought their arousal should go from 0 to 100 in a clear path.

The orgasmic truth: The path to orgasm is anything but straight!

For most women, arousal looks like a jagged – but gradually increasing – graph.

Right before orgasm, you also hit what’s called the “Plateau Phase”, where your sense of pleasure flatlines before you tip over the edge into orgasm.

Orgasm Myth #3 – You Lose Complete Control When You Orgasm

I learned that women are really anxious about what’s going to happen when they orgasm. They’re worried about being totally powerless in the moment, and doing something embarrassing as a result.

The orgasmic truth: You don’t lose complete control when you orgasm! Your muscles might contract a bit, but you’re not going to completely lose touch with reality. You’re not going to become a different person!

Orgasm Myth #4 – There Should Be One Specific Kind Of Stimulation That Works For Everybody

Every woman seems to think that the way she feels pleasure is “wrong.”

I get emails from women who like internal stimulation, who say they feel like something must be wrong with their clitoris.

I get emails from women who love clitoral stimulation, who say they feel broken for not liking internal stimulation.

The orgasmic truth: There is no “right” or “wrong” way to stimulate your body. Whatever feels good to your body is perfectly normal, natural, and beautiful.

Orgasm Myth #5 – If You Haven’t Yet Had An Orgasm, Something Is Wrong With You

Before creating Finishing School, I knew that women were frustrated by not having yet had an orgasm. But I didn’t realize how personally so many women take their lack of orgasm.

A lot of women think that not having yet had an orgasm means that they’re broken.

You might think you’re broken if you’ve never had an orgasm.

The orgasmic truth: Orgasm is a skill. And like any other skill, it takes time, patience, and practice to learn.

But just because you haven’t picked up that skill yet doesn’t mean that you’re broken!

I don’t know how to ski. Does that mean I’ll never learn how to ski? No. Does that mean something’s broken inside of me? No. It simply means that I haven’t yet put the time, patience, and practice into learning how to ski!

I know that orgasms seem wildly different from skiing, but they’re really not! They’re both learnable skills. The thousands of women who have had their first orgasms with Finishing School are proof!