Are you ready for this month’s brand new topic?
It’s one of my all-time favorites…
Female orgasm!
You may already know that female orgasm is one of my specialties. I have two different online courses that teach women how to orgasm: Finishing School: Learn How To Orgasm and Finishing School: Orgasm With A Partner.
I’ve been running these courses for years now, and I’m gearing up for something really exciting (more on that in a few weeks!).
On the eve of this big turning point, I thought it would be fun to go back and review surprising lessons I’ve learned about female orgasm. I’ll cover one lesson each week this month.
Surprising Orgasm Lesson #1 – Mindfulness Matters
One of the biggest blockages that women have when it comes to learning how to orgasm is being able to stay mentally focused.
You might get bored when you try to masturbate, and give up after just a few minutes.
You might get distracted by your to-do list or by random thoughts (“I wonder what Jane is going to get me for Christmas this year…”) when you’re with your partner.
You might have such a hard time focusing on the pleasure that your body is feeling that you wind up hardly feeling anything.
The solution to all of this distraction is mindfulness.
Mindfulness is a huge concept, but the most basic idea behind it is becoming more aware of what’s happening in the moment, from moment to moment.It’s all about being more present.
Practicing mindfulness outside of the bedroom is the best way to learn how to be more focused, present, and in the moment inside the bedroom.
The more comfortable you get with mindfulness, the easier orgasm will be for you.
You’ll be able to keep your anxious and random thoughts at bay, minimize self-judgment and criticism, and pay more attention to the sensations.
In case this is starting to sound a little too woo-woo for you, there’s a lot of research backing up the value of mindfulness when it comes to sex.
A 2014 study found that regular mindfulness practice improved women’s:
Ability to orgasm
Desire
Arousal
Lubrication
Overall sexual satisfaction
A separate study found that practicing mindfulness decreased the amount of time it took for women to reach orgasm.
When I first created Finishing School, I knew that mindfulness was going to be an important topic for me to teach, but over the years, I’ve been surprised to learn just how powerful it has been for the thousands of women who have gone through Finishing School.
I survey all Finishing School participants, and here are some of the benefits they reported from the mindfulness exercises in the course:
Feeling more pleasure on the path to orgasm.
Feeling more connected to your own body.
Feeling more connected to your partner.
Feeling more confident in the bedroom.
Feeling happier and more excited about the process of learning how to orgasm.
Having longer, more powerful, and more pleasurable orgasms.
I’ve played around with a lot of mindfulness exercises in my personal life, and I’ve also been shocked to discover what a profound effect it has had on my experience of pleasure and orgasm. It has been truly life-changing.
There are a number of different mindfulness exercises in Finishing School, and I wanted to share one with you for free, as a thank you for being a part of my community!
I’ve created a guided mindfulness practice for you to try. You can do this practice daily, to increase your mindfulness skills. Or try doing it before a masturbation session, or before having sex with your partner, to help you get more present and grounded.
Before I go any further, let me just say this:
I know that mindfulness is not a “sexy” sounding technique.
When I start talking about mindfulness, most of my clients get this glazed-over look in their eyes and say something like, “OK, yeah, whatever, let’s get to the real techniques.”
You might have that glazed over look in your eyes right now!
But I’m telling you, after years of running Finishing School, I now understand that mindfulness is the real deal.
To access this powerful mindfulness practice for free, all you need to do is put in your email address!
You’ll be able to download a cheat sheet guide to the practice and listen to a guided audio recording.
It’s OK to feel skeptical or a little unsure, but let yourself feel those feelings, then challenge yourself to give this practice a shot!
