Welcome to The Weekend Sexperiment!

This weekend’s suggestion involves something that I know doesn’t sound terribly sexy – hugging.

Most couples tend to overlook hugging. It’s something we do when we’re greeting friends, visiting grandma, or meeting a friendly new acquaintance.

We might hug our partner if they’re sad or distressed, or we might go in for a quick two-second hug to say hello after being apart for a while, but hugging tends to not be a part of daily life for most couples.

This tends to be the case especially for couples who have been fighting a lot or starting to drift apart. I’ve had plenty of clients tell me they can’t remember the last time they hugged their partner.

It’s a shame that the hug is so underrated because it’s a great way to foster deeper intimacy in your relationship. It releases a surge of oxytocin into each of your bodies, promoting relaxation, closeness, bonding, and trust.

I’ll admit – I’ve never been the biggest hugging fan. Clocking in at a solid five feet, zero inches, I inevitably get stuck with my arms uncomfortably twisted and my head buried around nipple-level!

But I’m married to a man who is a pretty darn good hugger, and he’s constantly giving me reminders of the power of a good hug!

This weekend, your Sexperiment is to try hugging in a different way. You’re going to be very deliberate about your hugging, which might feel weird at first, but I encourage you to stick with it!

Stand facing each other, with your feet firmly planted on the ground. Make eye contact for a few seconds. Then move towards each other and wrap your arms around each other. Try to find a position where you both feel comfortable.

If you have a large height discrepancy, have the taller partner kneel or sit on a chair, or the shorter partner stand on a block. You want to be lined up so that your chests are touching. You can also do this lying down on your sides, if that’s easier.

Next, close your eyes, and try to breathe slowly and deeply. You’re probably going to feel a little goofy or awkward at first, but that’s OK!

Keep hugging each other until you start to feel yourself truly relax. For most people, there will be a definitive moment where you can actually feel your body settle in. It’s as if your entire body is letting out a big, “ahhhhhh”.

Stay like this for a few minutes, soaking it all up.

When you feel ready to pull apart, check in with your partner before doing so. Then ask each other what the experience was like. Have you ever hugged like that before? What was it like to feel your bodies melt into each other’s? How do you feel post-hug?

Try this out a few times this weekend, and see what supercharged hugging can do for your relationship!