The Secret to a Hot Sex Life? Talking About It!

June 10,2021

How comfortable are you talking about sex with your partner? 

If you’re like most people, your face is already bright red! 

You need to be able to talk about sex if you want to have an extraordinary sex life. So to kick off the Pillow Talks podcast, we’ve got your back with a step-by-step process for talking about sex in your relationship – even if you never have before. 

In this episode, we’ll walk you through five steps you need to take to get comfortable talking about sex. We’ll share funny stories of our own communication mishaps, and give you the courage to open up! 

Giveaway alert!

Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts before June 20 and we’ll enter your name into a drawing to win any one of our courses for free! That’s up to a $1,000 value! 

(Just make sure to take a screenshot of your review and DM it to us at @vanessamarintherapy. Apple doesn’t like to show every review, so we want to make sure you get added to the giveaway.)

Thank you in advance for taking the time to leave us a quick review! 

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It’s the sex education you wish you had!

Take a screenshot of this episode and tag us on instagram @vanessamarintherapy and tell us your biggest takeaway! We can’t wait to hear what steps you’re going to take to talk about sex with your partner.

Want your questions answered on the show? Send a DM to @vanessamarintherapy. We’d love to hear from you!

5 simple steps to start talking about sex

  1. Get comfortable talking about sex with yourself
  2. Give your partner attraction-based compliments
  3. Ask your partner a positively rooted question about sex
  4. Praise your partner for having that conversation with you
  5. Give your partner another compliment

Here’s a glance at this episode:

[01:10] How to start talking about sex 

[05:05] Break the ice with yourself 

[08:36] Give your partner a compliment 

[10:10] Ask a positively rooted question  

[14:58] Offer praise 

[16:12] Give another compliment 

[18:21] You don’t always need a motive to talk about sex

[20:56] Listener question: My partner gets insecure and feels like the pressure is on them to fix things

[23:34] Listener question: I feel like I always bring up sex conversations and I feel like it sounds like something is wrong.

[24:56] Listener question: How to get over shame and vulnerability when talking about sex?

[28:46] Listener question: My partner shuts down and does not want to talk about it, what can I do?

[31:47] Listener question: How to navigate when one partner is more comfortable talking about it than the other?

Links & resources

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I'm Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and writer specializing in helping you have more fun in the bedroom.

I have bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University, and a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. I’m also a licensed psychotherapist. I’ve been working in the sex therapy field since 2002 and have been featured by The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, and many more.

If you’re interested in improving your sex life, you can work with me via my online courses or personal coaching sessions. I look forward to supporting you in creating the sex life you’ve always wanted!